Stolen Women: Reclaiming Our Sexuality

(pic courtesy of Amazon)

"Gail Elizabeth Wyatt's Stolen Women explores how body identities are often shaped by deeply rooted myths and cultural stereotypes. Tracing black women's body images and sexuality from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, Wyatt powerfully explains in her introduction that "to the degree that we allow our sexual self-image to be defined by others, we will remain, as our ancestors were, stolen women, captives not of strangers but of the past, and of our own unexamined experiences. The challenge we face is to see ourselves not as others see us or want us to be seen, but as we are, as we were, and as we want to be."

Wyatt, a Ph.D. and professor of psychiatry and biobehavioral science at UCLA, explores the origins and hazards of these images through a psychiatric lens. Her use of case studies and behavioral research puts a human face on how these myths affect the development of young black women, and her careful analysis breaks down behavioral trends clearly and concisely. Black women are often seen in opposing sexual terms, either as completely nonsexual or perpetually sexually available. Wyatt fills in the gap between these two dangerous stereotypes, unpacking childhood messages about sex and exploring issues like how girls learn to be "ladies." She encourages all "stolen women" to regain control over their bodies from these external forces, allowing women to apply her work to their own lives and giving them the tools to break free, refusing to believe these painful myths are unchangeable." -- Amy Wan


So, I haven't finished this piece yet, but close to it. Dr. Wyatt looks at Black female sexuality from a historical, cultural and contemporary perspective. And...she does it RIGHT! Not only was I doing a lot of head nodding--I was writing in the margins, taking notes, talking about it with colleagues, friends, etc. This book has touched me. Similarly to Shifting (which I reviewed in an earlier post, Stolen Women looks at the lives of Black women today and how we have been affected by our past. how we have been raped, brutalized, exploited and stereotyped; and how we are still fighting this today.

As you may know, I'm real big on sex. But more importantly, I believe in having a healthy sexuality that you are able to express with whomever, whether this be through words, art, music, swag, or the act itself. Your sexuality is your own, and while people in your life do sometimes discourage it, and it may feel like it's been taken away from you due to low self esteem or trauma, but you own it! Big or small, short or tall, you are a sexual being, and whether you are sexually active or not, your sexuality is always a force to wreckon with, once you learn how to affirm it properly.

People will always try to label you, and as black women, we tend to be labeled as either promiscuous or asexual, never an in between combo of confident in ourselves and mature with our sexuality. So it IS our job to use it, and use it well!

Oh, and how awesome is it that Dr. Gail Wyatt a sex therapist?!?! Ahh, my idol. (for real though, I definitely plan on having a specialty along the lines)

Check this great read out ladies (black or white); I guarantee you'll learn about yourself, your peers, and your sexual power!