"PEOPLE WILL ONLY TREAT YOU AS WELL AS YOU PRESENT YOURSELF TO THEM"
At this trying time in my life, this quote resonates with me so much that I almost shed a mothertruckin' tear when I read it! (Thanks Snaps, thanks-a-lot) SO anyway, this phrase can be applied to damn near any context that it is placed in, concerning relating to other people. Whether professionally, romantically, friendly, familially (likely not a word), whatever, I find that people treat you the way they see you. In my profession, working with severely chronic psychotic and mood disordered folk, this definitely applies. I treat my clients, and form a therapeutic relationship with them, based on how I see them, and vice versa. If they do not trust me, they will let me know, in their own way. If they trust me and depend on me for guidance, they will act like it. Mind you, these presentations wane depending on the situation of course. But, I digress.
In the context of societal influences, everyone treats others based on their own personal categorization of them; whether by race, creed, height, gender, eye color, location, swagger, anything. We all have these set schemas in our mind that guide us on how to live, based on what we've been through or what we've seen others go through.
Pretty self explanatory stuff, right?
If I've seen the likes of you before, whoever YOU are, I will act accordingly. If I've acted toward your like a certain way in the past and got burned, I will from here on out change my swag with your like. If I had a pleasant experience with "your like" before, again, I will act accordingly. By accordingly, I don't mean according to YOU, I mean, according to ME, and MY experiences.
Again, pretty simple stuff, right?
So, as I begin my two year dissertation project on Black male / Black female relationships, this quote is emblazoned in my mind. As black men and women navigate their way through their respective dating pools, moaning and groaning about what's not out there for them, looking on as more and more White folk their same age are tying the knot, starting families, building new lives, they need to keep this particular quote in mind.
While this quote is equal opportunity, I am especially talking to my Black female cohort. Men will continue to treat us, how we demand to be treated. Disclaimer: some men ARE in the art of taking advantage of women, and the stability and health of a relationship is dependent only upon the stability and health of EACH partner, so even if a woman presents themself in one way, they treat them in another. However, even in the case of someone taking advantage of another, only YOU decide how you will be treated and what you can and will put yourself through. While a tough decision to make when it comes to love, you know yourself best, and you know what you want / need in your relationships. But again, I digress.
If you present yourself as needy, dependent, looking for love, NEEDING a man's protection and affection to be happy, then...you will be treated as such, my dear. If you go into a relationship and give YOURSELF (which is all you got) up, trust, someone will TAKE YOU THERE. If you let men (or women) get away with the bullshit that you would gossip about if another girl were your the same situation, then change needs to be made. And introspection needs to take place. That, in itself, in letting shit go down, is presenting yourself, as willing to deal with it. And ladies, we seem to forget this time and time again. We are ALWAYS presenting ourselves to other people. And we have many different presentations. If you continually PRESENT as a woman who will suffer through abuse, neglect, disrespect, str8 up trash, then you WILL be treated as such! Sorry.
And this is not to blame anyone. Self-esteem is subjective, and our pride is a force to be reckoned with. However, IT'S ALL IN THE PRESENTATION OF SELF!
Please self-reflect. It's the only way that we, as a society, as a people, can make it.
In the context of societal influences, everyone treats others based on their own personal categorization of them; whether by race, creed, height, gender, eye color, location, swagger, anything. We all have these set schemas in our mind that guide us on how to live, based on what we've been through or what we've seen others go through.
Pretty self explanatory stuff, right?
If I've seen the likes of you before, whoever YOU are, I will act accordingly. If I've acted toward your like a certain way in the past and got burned, I will from here on out change my swag with your like. If I had a pleasant experience with "your like" before, again, I will act accordingly. By accordingly, I don't mean according to YOU, I mean, according to ME, and MY experiences.
Again, pretty simple stuff, right?
So, as I begin my two year dissertation project on Black male / Black female relationships, this quote is emblazoned in my mind. As black men and women navigate their way through their respective dating pools, moaning and groaning about what's not out there for them, looking on as more and more White folk their same age are tying the knot, starting families, building new lives, they need to keep this particular quote in mind.
While this quote is equal opportunity, I am especially talking to my Black female cohort. Men will continue to treat us, how we demand to be treated. Disclaimer: some men ARE in the art of taking advantage of women, and the stability and health of a relationship is dependent only upon the stability and health of EACH partner, so even if a woman presents themself in one way, they treat them in another. However, even in the case of someone taking advantage of another, only YOU decide how you will be treated and what you can and will put yourself through. While a tough decision to make when it comes to love, you know yourself best, and you know what you want / need in your relationships. But again, I digress.
If you present yourself as needy, dependent, looking for love, NEEDING a man's protection and affection to be happy, then...you will be treated as such, my dear. If you go into a relationship and give YOURSELF (which is all you got) up, trust, someone will TAKE YOU THERE. If you let men (or women) get away with the bullshit that you would gossip about if another girl were your the same situation, then change needs to be made. And introspection needs to take place. That, in itself, in letting shit go down, is presenting yourself, as willing to deal with it. And ladies, we seem to forget this time and time again. We are ALWAYS presenting ourselves to other people. And we have many different presentations. If you continually PRESENT as a woman who will suffer through abuse, neglect, disrespect, str8 up trash, then you WILL be treated as such! Sorry.
And this is not to blame anyone. Self-esteem is subjective, and our pride is a force to be reckoned with. However, IT'S ALL IN THE PRESENTATION OF SELF!
Please self-reflect. It's the only way that we, as a society, as a people, can make it.
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CHURCH PREACH TABERNACLE MOSQUE & TEMPLE.
LOVE IT!!!!!
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