Good Girl? Or Just Plain Stoopid...

So this post pertains to the ever-so-changing female role in relationships. Whether she be the good girl, the bad girl, or the woman in between. Whether she's faithful, a sinner, or just goes with the flow of the relationship. How do you tell if you (or someone else) is a "ride-or-die chick" or the girl in town who's getting played for a fool?

Let me begin by saying that there is no right or wrong answer. As in most situations, you gotta go with your gut, your mind or your heart. Can't no one tell you what you are, who you are, or how you do what you do. And DON'T let anyone do it, either! Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in the hype of things; whether that's getting swooned by your favorite boy or girl, or going battle-axe because you feel like the town dunce. You decide, and you act accordingly.

HOWEVA, there are many times / circumstances that can easily lead to said confusion as to your role in your relationship. If you happen to be in that drama filled, always fighting, constantly accusatory relationship, something to think twice about is its worth. Again, this all depends what the drama is surrounding. Y'all got drama concerning a particular outsider or third-party-player that's making this game uncomfortable? Like ex-girlfriend /boyfriend, baby-mama / daddy drama? Decide your position. Y'all got legal drama that either mainly involves him / her or has now involved YOU??? Decide your position. Do you feel like without your effort, this relationship would without a doubt crumble? Decide your position.

While I don't want to say to get into what's being said about your relationship, I think it's a very important factor and plays a large role in the state of things sometimes. Not only is it important to know what people think about your relationship, but it's also important to know why some people feel a certain way. Now I ain't sayin poll your college campus on how good you and said partner look with each other and what people think you're dealing with behind closed doors, but your friends do hold valuable information in the way of what you miss because you're on the inside. Note: PROCEED WITH CAUTION ON THIS ONE...please try your best not to take what may or is being said about your relationship and run with it. EVERYTHING needs it's context! How do you feel in public with your partner? Are you confident? Can you defend your relationship without feeling like your making excuses for your current situation? Decide your position. Mark how you feel, and remember it. Because how you feel with ultimately decide your fate and how you play your role in this one. Does how you feel make you think "good girl" or "just plain stoopid?" If you were on the outside of this relationship, would you talk about yourself?

Now please don't front. We all talk about somebody. And we're all up in at least one person's relationship status, regardless of if we know their drama or not. If you knew yourself, and had information on your relationship from the outside, what would you be saying? Honestly. If you were your own friend (which we should all be!), what advice would you be giving? How would you be looking at yourself and your partner? Think about it...and feel it. No one wants to be that girl who everyone knows her business BUT her! No one wants to be embarassed.

Love. Sex. Conversation. Honesty. Respect. Some of the hallmarks of a good and productive relationship, right?. You got 'em? Or you feel like you gotta constantly pull for them? If one or two of them is missing, what about them is missing? If you have a lying partner, what are they lying about? Are they lying about whether they worked out today, or whether they hung out with their co-worker this afternoon? If the sex ain't where it's at, is this because there's too much emphasis on it by your partner, or that the passion is gone? Can you two talk? DO you two talk? These are ways you can decide your position. Both as an individual as as a partner in a romantic relationship.

That's as deep as I'll go with this one...just planting the seed for now. But remember that every circumstance you're placed in, you can decide how you play your role. Will you always be hte good girl? Or have you done yourself in by being just plain stoopid???