On the day of the first inauguration to take place in this city, a small band of citizens gathered to watch Thomas Jefferson assume office. Our young and fragile democracy had barely finished a long and contentious election that tested our founding ideals, and there were those who feared our union might not endure.
It was a perilous moment. But Jefferson announced that while we may differ in opinion, we all share the same principles. “Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind,” he said, urging those assembled to begin anew the work of building a nation.
In the more than two centuries since, inaugurations have taken place during times of war and peace, depression and prosperity. Beneath the unfinished dome of the Capitol, a young lawyer from Illinois swore an oath to defend the Constitution a divided nation threatened to tear apart. In an era of unprecedented crisis, an optimistic New Yorker refused to allow us to succumb to fear. In a time of great change, a young man from Massachusetts convinced us to think anew with regard to serving our fellow man.
At each and every moment, the American people have joined with one heart and one mind - not just to commemorate a new president, but to celebrate those common ideals, share our hopes for a brighter future and resolve to advance our bold experiment.
Tomorrow, we’ll gather at a new time of great challenge for the American people. Our nation is at war. Our economy is in turmoil. We have much work to do toward restoring prosperity and renewing the promise of this nation.
And yet while our problems may be new, what is required to overcome them is not. What is required is the same perseverance and idealism that our Founders displayed. What is also required is that we break free from rigid ideology and small thinking, and together grab hold of this opportunity to bridge partisan divides and deliver change for the American people.
The state of our union and challenges of a new century demand that we move beyond the old debates and stale arguments. We must focus today not on the dogmas of left and right, but on practical answers to the difficult problems of our times.
The impetus for that change will come from the American people, where the ultimate power in our democracy lies.
That is why the events of this week are not simply about the inauguration of another American president - they are a celebration of our democracy. We have made this inauguration the most open and accessible in our history, with the sole purpose of involving more citizens than ever before. And as we gather on a mall, in our neighborhoods and in our homes to begin our new journey together, we remember that our greatest strength has always been found in one another.
For the first time ever, we’re opening up the entire length of our National Mall for an inauguration. We’ve invited ordinary citizens from across the country, welcomed local schoolchildren and their families to the parade, and worked with local organizations to distribute free inaugural ball tickets to D.C. residents and military families. And we’ll broadcast and webcast the first-ever Neighborhood Inaugural Ball so that all Americans can join us - wherever their neighborhood may be.
We’ve heeded Jefferson’s words by involving Democrats, Republicans and independents in all aspects of this inauguration. Tonight, we will hold a series of dinners to honor leaders whose lifetime of public service has been enhanced by a dedication to bipartisan achievement, including my former opponent, Sen. John McCain.
We will couple the spirit of this inauguration with the celebration of the life of a preacher who once stood and shared his dream for America on the very mall where we’ll gather tomorrow. Martin Luther King lived his life as a servant to others, and today, ordinary citizens all across the country honor that legacy through the more than 10,000 service projects they’ve created on USAservice.org. And I’m asking the American people to answer the call and turn today’s efforts into an ongoing commitment to enrich the lives of Americans in their communities, their cities and their country.
After all, it’s that commitment to one another that’s always led us forward as a people. Because from those first citizens to the millions technology will connect this week, through times of great challenge and great change, we have remembered that fundamental American truth - that what unites us is always more powerful than what divides us.
That is the spirit that has always sustained us. That is the principle that must drive us now. And I am confident that if we come together and summon that great American spirit once again, we will meet the challenges of our time and write the next great chapter in our American story.
courtesy of www.bossip.com
Monday, January 19, 2009
President-Elect Barack Obama's Essay in Honor of MLK.
I Just Don't Get It.
Forgive me this evening. Call me a "hater." Say that I've been brainwashed by Hollywood and their ridiculously high standards. But I have to be honest on here, in saying that I really don't see the great appeal of Ms. Joy Bryant or Ms. Kim Porter.
Sure, they're cute. Sure, they're slender and have legs for days.
Nice smiles.
And, sure, they're skin is smooth and buttery. But...that just don't make beautiful to me! I've never seen what all the hype is. And I get really pissed, because...is it me? Have I missed the memo?
I know, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But why am I beholding differently from everyone else?? Is it because they are average looking women, who we are happy to see get some limelight? Regular, around the way beauties, that would get a lot of play in their respective hoods, but have risen to the eyes of the nation, and make us feel better about our own, maybe average, decent looks?
So do we think these women (and others) are actually beautiful? Or is it really that they give us hope that we could match up to Hollywood beauty, too?
random, I know. Just been on my mind for some time...
Don't Call It a Comeback!
whitney houston is doing her best, to be her best, and get back in the game! love it all.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
M.I.A., Sorry in Advance
A new semester has started - already proving to be as challenging as last semester was.
Course load:
GLBT seminar (Gay, lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender)
Dissertation Maintenance (the bane of my existence)
Therapy seminar
Statistics II
Psychopharmacology
2 jobs = 30 hours/week
1 practicum = 22 hours/week
Anyone wanna switch places?? Riiiight.
HOWEVA, I've got many drafts in the works, of all the BS I encounter and my very often scattered and random thoughts...stay tuned for an exciting 2009!!
Course load:
GLBT seminar (Gay, lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender)
Dissertation Maintenance (the bane of my existence)
Therapy seminar
Statistics II
Psychopharmacology
2 jobs = 30 hours/week
1 practicum = 22 hours/week
Anyone wanna switch places?? Riiiight.
HOWEVA, I've got many drafts in the works, of all the BS I encounter and my very often scattered and random thoughts...stay tuned for an exciting 2009!!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Umm, Excuse Me. What Did You Just Say?
So...while celebrating NYE in all it's glory last night (really, this morning) I was struck by a few things said to me over the course of the night that make me think...
When is it OK to laugh off inappropriate commentary? Especially coming from males? And when is it important to care enough to say something?
While dancing (which I did a TON of, which is not surprising if you know me), this "dude" (I wish I could call him a gentleman) approaches me, and watches me dance with a friend. Says nothing, just watches for maybe...10 seconds. I turn to him, to which he responds with a smile, "I like that."
OK. I mean, I'm glad you like. I wore this, so you, and others would like. "Dude" proceeds to look and smile, then asks me for a dance, while taking my hand. I ask him something to the effect of, "Where are we going? Are you kidnapping me?" He said yes, and proceeded to guide me toward another area of the room we were already in.
We commence to dancing, bumpin, gettin low, whatever your fantasy. I ask "dude" his name (quick comment: I typically do not like talking while dancing, because it's small talk and dudes almost NEVER say the right things, case in point. However, sometimes I talk so that I control the conversation.) to which he says something I couldn't hear then gives me his "street name." OK. I tell him my name and go back to dancing.
"Dude" then proceeds to form these words and have the nerve to say them to me (not verbatim): "Damn girl, you can dance. I bet you can fuck, too."
Really, though? Is THAT the conversation you want to have with me right now? Is that what's hot in these streets nowadays? Now, part of me, a large part, wanted to respond defensively, and tell him how inapprop that is to say to a lady. Part of me would like to do the night over, and respond accordingly. However, what I did do, was laugh, say "wow, it's like that?" and continue to dance.
Shocked? Surprised?
Would you have done something different?
The reason I did this is because...I really didn't / don't care. Sometimes we give others the power to make us so upset, the power to get us so riled up...but for what? I wasn't in the mood to teach any lessons. He did not call me out of my name, and yes, his comment was immature, insensitive and raunchy. Eh - whatever. But clearly, I had no plans on engaging in anything with him past this dance, so why get mad? And me saying anything to him likely would not have changed anything, either. This, was apparently his swag. And that's cool. That's him. And I guess that has worked in the past for him. Swags are not meant to be compatible. You got yours; I got mine.
Minutes later....he proceeds to ask the "boyfriend in the room" questions, to which I explain to him that I'm single and here with friends. "Dude" then says (verbatim): "You a dyke?" No boo, I'm not. Then I made a joke that if I was a lesbian (and I said, lesbian) that my girl would be the friend I attended with. To which "dude" replies: "I bet you I'll eat ya pussy better than her." I guess he was trying to assert his manhood to me. Good job.
Wow. Again? Damn! Really, though? Which were the exact words I used, and proceeded to make my not so smooth getaway toward another friend.
I only write about this because I've been thinking about it alot. No, not "dude." But...the approach of men these days in an effort to get names, contact information, and eventually...sex. I can't speak to how / where men learn how to deal with women, but I can speak to how women handle the approach of men. My response last night was dependent on my mood. Which was very good and I didn't want to ruin it.
I tend to laugh things off that don't matter to me, and that I don't think apply to me. Kind of like laughing in your face, but not. So tell me, is this approach just another method of perpetuating the problem?
When is it OK to laugh off inappropriate commentary? Especially coming from males? And when is it important to care enough to say something?
While dancing (which I did a TON of, which is not surprising if you know me), this "dude" (I wish I could call him a gentleman) approaches me, and watches me dance with a friend. Says nothing, just watches for maybe...10 seconds. I turn to him, to which he responds with a smile, "I like that."
OK. I mean, I'm glad you like. I wore this, so you, and others would like. "Dude" proceeds to look and smile, then asks me for a dance, while taking my hand. I ask him something to the effect of, "Where are we going? Are you kidnapping me?" He said yes, and proceeded to guide me toward another area of the room we were already in.
We commence to dancing, bumpin, gettin low, whatever your fantasy. I ask "dude" his name (quick comment: I typically do not like talking while dancing, because it's small talk and dudes almost NEVER say the right things, case in point. However, sometimes I talk so that I control the conversation.) to which he says something I couldn't hear then gives me his "street name." OK. I tell him my name and go back to dancing.
"Dude" then proceeds to form these words and have the nerve to say them to me (not verbatim): "Damn girl, you can dance. I bet you can fuck, too."
Really, though? Is THAT the conversation you want to have with me right now? Is that what's hot in these streets nowadays? Now, part of me, a large part, wanted to respond defensively, and tell him how inapprop that is to say to a lady. Part of me would like to do the night over, and respond accordingly. However, what I did do, was laugh, say "wow, it's like that?" and continue to dance.
Shocked? Surprised?
Would you have done something different?
The reason I did this is because...I really didn't / don't care. Sometimes we give others the power to make us so upset, the power to get us so riled up...but for what? I wasn't in the mood to teach any lessons. He did not call me out of my name, and yes, his comment was immature, insensitive and raunchy. Eh - whatever. But clearly, I had no plans on engaging in anything with him past this dance, so why get mad? And me saying anything to him likely would not have changed anything, either. This, was apparently his swag. And that's cool. That's him. And I guess that has worked in the past for him. Swags are not meant to be compatible. You got yours; I got mine.
Minutes later....he proceeds to ask the "boyfriend in the room" questions, to which I explain to him that I'm single and here with friends. "Dude" then says (verbatim): "You a dyke?" No boo, I'm not. Then I made a joke that if I was a lesbian (and I said, lesbian) that my girl would be the friend I attended with. To which "dude" replies: "I bet you I'll eat ya pussy better than her." I guess he was trying to assert his manhood to me. Good job.
Wow. Again? Damn! Really, though? Which were the exact words I used, and proceeded to make my not so smooth getaway toward another friend.
I only write about this because I've been thinking about it alot. No, not "dude." But...the approach of men these days in an effort to get names, contact information, and eventually...sex. I can't speak to how / where men learn how to deal with women, but I can speak to how women handle the approach of men. My response last night was dependent on my mood. Which was very good and I didn't want to ruin it.
I tend to laugh things off that don't matter to me, and that I don't think apply to me. Kind of like laughing in your face, but not. So tell me, is this approach just another method of perpetuating the problem?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
A New Year, A New You?
I know I've talked about "resolutions" already. But whatever. Just because it's a new year doesn't really mean that ANYTHING is changing drastically OR soon. As I said before, any kind of change that you really want to see will be a process. So resolutions typically don't work because people are so set on the destination, that they forget about the journey to take them there. And people have not taken the time to think about what that journey means.
So all these away messages and facebook statuses that I'm seeing about "new year, new me"...are really lost on me. Because most of you people are not going to change. And you're only going to be pissed when 2010 rolls around and you're still acting the damn same. Oh, and PLEASE do not make resolutions for/about other people. Keep your goals to what is in your control. You will only be disappointed if so and so doesn't conform to a goal that you made for yourself through them.
If you're going to make a plan of action, you need to also make some backup plans, and some ground rules of satisfaction. So that if your goal is not met, there is a lesser degree of contentedness that you can find within yourself so that you're not spending the next 12 months of your life pining over what you have not accomplished yet.
Be smart. Take it slow. Be realistic. But also, and probably most important, know when the time is right. Know your motivation style, and don't force it. Me losing 30 pounds ain't the same for you, boo. Know your capabilities, know your limits. Work within a balance.
And learn the whole way through....
So all these away messages and facebook statuses that I'm seeing about "new year, new me"...are really lost on me. Because most of you people are not going to change. And you're only going to be pissed when 2010 rolls around and you're still acting the damn same. Oh, and PLEASE do not make resolutions for/about other people. Keep your goals to what is in your control. You will only be disappointed if so and so doesn't conform to a goal that you made for yourself through them.
If you're going to make a plan of action, you need to also make some backup plans, and some ground rules of satisfaction. So that if your goal is not met, there is a lesser degree of contentedness that you can find within yourself so that you're not spending the next 12 months of your life pining over what you have not accomplished yet.
Be smart. Take it slow. Be realistic. But also, and probably most important, know when the time is right. Know your motivation style, and don't force it. Me losing 30 pounds ain't the same for you, boo. Know your capabilities, know your limits. Work within a balance.
And learn the whole way through....
Love During Sex
When people say "I love you, [insert correct name here, preferably]" during sex, do you believe them? Can you believe them?
What is it that makes people say some magic words during the act of intercourse? Does that make the sex (lovemaking) better? Have they said it to you outside of intercourse? Is there such a rush of emotion and feeling during sex, so many hormones being poured out into (and onto) the other person, that there will likely be these uncontrollable outbursts?
Sometimes, I think that people feel more love during sex than in any other aspect of their relationship. Can this be why so many ladies "give it up" to keep the man? Or feel as though he's the one because the sex is so good? Or maintain a relationship with a dude who's really not right because the game is SO good? (whether they realize this or not...) Because during this act is when they feel loved by someone the most?
Was it Usher who proposed to Chili during sex? (Someone let me know if I'm wrong.) But for real, can what is said during passionate love making be taken outside of the act itself? There are many instances of both appropriate and inappropriate words said during sex by both partners. Whether they are confessions of feelings, instructions on what to do, or raunchy words that border on sadochism/masochism.
So are we more likely to accept what is said in the heat of the moment?
Just thinkin on the keyboard...
What is it that makes people say some magic words during the act of intercourse? Does that make the sex (lovemaking) better? Have they said it to you outside of intercourse? Is there such a rush of emotion and feeling during sex, so many hormones being poured out into (and onto) the other person, that there will likely be these uncontrollable outbursts?
Sometimes, I think that people feel more love during sex than in any other aspect of their relationship. Can this be why so many ladies "give it up" to keep the man? Or feel as though he's the one because the sex is so good? Or maintain a relationship with a dude who's really not right because the game is SO good? (whether they realize this or not...) Because during this act is when they feel loved by someone the most?
Was it Usher who proposed to Chili during sex? (Someone let me know if I'm wrong.) But for real, can what is said during passionate love making be taken outside of the act itself? There are many instances of both appropriate and inappropriate words said during sex by both partners. Whether they are confessions of feelings, instructions on what to do, or raunchy words that border on sadochism/masochism.
So are we more likely to accept what is said in the heat of the moment?
Just thinkin on the keyboard...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Lessons.
I am sooooo behind on posts. I have so many drafts to complete! I don't know I thought coming to Jersey for the holidays would be a break! Promise to come back soon...but things I've been thinking -
--when the ex boyfriend/lover REALLY become the ex in your mind, body and soul? What are the signs? How are the interactions, if any?
--I'm the "therapist" in my bunch of friends, so I've had years of practice at GOOD listening, being objective and giving good advice. but I've only JUST realized myself releasing judgment...is it because I'm maturing? or because I'm actually learning more theory/practice through working with psychotic people? or is it because I'm tired of people judging me??
--friends....are lifelines. They pick you up when you're down. they keep you up when you're climbing. But, they're also overrated, and I'm fine with cutting down. Actually, I'm perfecting the art of cutting down. And cutting out. Does wonders for my phone bills!
--ever have those people in your life (romantically speaking) that you KNOW you'd be good with in a relationship...even if just for a short while? I have one. and...it kind of freaks me out.
--family. A gift and a curse. But I wouldn't change mine for the world! I just wish I was closer to extended family...something that will be hard for me to keep up with from the Midwest...but I will try!
That's all for now. I'll be sure to post some stuff by the weekend!
--when the ex boyfriend/lover REALLY become the ex in your mind, body and soul? What are the signs? How are the interactions, if any?
--I'm the "therapist" in my bunch of friends, so I've had years of practice at GOOD listening, being objective and giving good advice. but I've only JUST realized myself releasing judgment...is it because I'm maturing? or because I'm actually learning more theory/practice through working with psychotic people? or is it because I'm tired of people judging me??
--friends....are lifelines. They pick you up when you're down. they keep you up when you're climbing. But, they're also overrated, and I'm fine with cutting down. Actually, I'm perfecting the art of cutting down. And cutting out. Does wonders for my phone bills!
--ever have those people in your life (romantically speaking) that you KNOW you'd be good with in a relationship...even if just for a short while? I have one. and...it kind of freaks me out.
--family. A gift and a curse. But I wouldn't change mine for the world! I just wish I was closer to extended family...something that will be hard for me to keep up with from the Midwest...but I will try!
That's all for now. I'll be sure to post some stuff by the weekend!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
OTB's Resolutions
Not to brag, but I've got a lot and don't really need anything for Christmas. But, that never stops a girl from wanting! And by alot, I really mean love. I have great friends, an outstanding (and crazy, and neurotic inducing) family, good health, attainable goals and a promising future. I try not to ask for more. And the year of 2008 brought me feelings of love that I didn't know I had in me. And feelings I didn't know another person could have for me, for that matter.
So, I'm good.
I won't call these New Year's Resolutions (although they're obviously being made around the time) because they are continuous. I don't only want to work on these things from January 1st 2009, to maybe March, so I can say that I at least tried. These are ongoing things to keep me on my A game. Because I have no option to be on anything less, from here on out.
But 2009? I'm definitely comin' in swingin'. Nothing tangible. More interpersonal, intellectual, and interpsychic.
1. I need and want to be a better friend. I've changed, and the people who I know and love have changed. I need to find that balance, and work on it. Strong friendships can only make you a stronger person.
2. I'm declaring war on my will to be and to feel happy. I will think with my heart more (which may get me in trouble), but which I won't regret.
3. I will be more honest. With you, and with myself. Lying to yourself only hurts you in the end. And...my lies to myself never stick. So it's a damn waste of my time!
4. Care less. My energy levels aren't like they used to be, so caring about everything and anything just wears me out. This, will be a tough one, maybe my toughest, I promise.
5. Do more. I need to be more proactive than reactive.
And that's all I can think of for now. Again, nothing exhaustive, and ever-expanding. Off to wrap presents!
So, I'm good.
I won't call these New Year's Resolutions (although they're obviously being made around the time) because they are continuous. I don't only want to work on these things from January 1st 2009, to maybe March, so I can say that I at least tried. These are ongoing things to keep me on my A game. Because I have no option to be on anything less, from here on out.
But 2009? I'm definitely comin' in swingin'. Nothing tangible. More interpersonal, intellectual, and interpsychic.
1. I need and want to be a better friend. I've changed, and the people who I know and love have changed. I need to find that balance, and work on it. Strong friendships can only make you a stronger person.
2. I'm declaring war on my will to be and to feel happy. I will think with my heart more (which may get me in trouble), but which I won't regret.
3. I will be more honest. With you, and with myself. Lying to yourself only hurts you in the end. And...my lies to myself never stick. So it's a damn waste of my time!
4. Care less. My energy levels aren't like they used to be, so caring about everything and anything just wears me out. This, will be a tough one, maybe my toughest, I promise.
5. Do more. I need to be more proactive than reactive.
And that's all I can think of for now. Again, nothing exhaustive, and ever-expanding. Off to wrap presents!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
In Control.
I'm not the best person in the world. I'm not the nicest person in the world. In fact, I have numerous faults. Some that I'm ashamed of, some that I've tried to hide, some that I've learned to live with, some I try to ignore, and some I've tried to chop down. Sometimes my morals are non-existent, and I'm not always a lady. My smile is typically plastered on my face, and I tend to analyze any and everything that you say or do.
Sometimes I curse, and sometimes I'm irrational. Sometimes I get mad at the wrong person, and I don't apologize. Sometimes I'm very spiteful when I feel as though I've been wronged.
I can't cook that well, and if you really give a damn about that for wife purposes, you should look elsewhere. I also don't clean as regularly as I should. My place is frequently a mess, and I tend to clean when I'm about to have company, or when I get pissed that I can't find something that I'm looking for.
I don't pay all of my bills on time every month and I'm not great at saving. I don't always do my homework. I procrastinate like a professional. Sometimes I'm a bad friend. Sometimes I'm a hypocrite. Hey, sometimes I'm a straightup and downright bitch. And while I know this, don't you dare come out of your mouth and call me on it.
Sometimes I'm passive aggressive because I feel like being outwardly mean will cause a confrontation. Leading to, sometimes I'm a punk. Sometimes I start arguments just to win, and sometimes I start arguments with you to prove that you care. Sometimes I point out flaws in others as a way of denying them in myself.
Sometimes I act like the "typical" girl and sometimes I act like the "typical" dude. I get emotional, and know the perfect way to be a brat to get my way. Sometimes I'm rude to you, and don't really give a damn, no matter how much your feelings have been hurt.
My hair isn't always done, and I don't shower twice a day. Or every day for that matter. Sometimes I don't do laundry for months, until I'm down to bikini bottoms or washing old underwear by hand to wear the next day. Sometimes I pick my nose, and if there is no tissue handy, I "roll and blow." I don't act like an adult all the time, and my maturity wavers.
I've fallen for men for the wrong reason. I've had sex for the wrong reason. I've put myself in situations where all I could do is lose, but I just knew in my heart that I should win. I've conducted myself in ways that my mother would not be proud of. I've done things that my father would cringe at. And my brother and sister? Basically, they know very little about me.
I don't tell my friends everything and I've lied to all of them before at least once. Sometimes, the truth doesn't always come out and honesty is not always the best policy. I've hurt other women before to get what I want from a man, knowingly and unknowingly. My eyebrows are not always done, and if you saw my feet right now, you'd call the police. Sometimes I try too hard to get attention, just to prove that I still got it, and sometimes I shy away from attention for fear that I won't get any. I'm insecure on the occasion about my weight, size, height and intellectual capabilities. And sometimes I think that I won't be a good therapist.
Some of these things, I'm in control of. Some of this, I'm not. This is all to say, that with all of my flaws, I am still unconditionally in love with myself. I am generally proud of my accomplishments, and I am in love with the way that I love people. Many of these things about me will never change. While I do have some regrets, they have all taught me more about myself and the way that I choose to interact with others. I still sometimes conduct myself in ways that I'm not proud of, but being older, and being wiser, these are decisions that I have chosen to make, to try to secure my happiness in whatever area of my life. Whether I get what I want or get bit in the ass, the choices are mine now, and no longer a consequence of not knowing any better.
I'm in control of my life enough now to follow my mind only when I want to, and to follow my heart when I feel like I need to. The importance of this balance has just been realized, and although I may never get it right, I am comfortable and confident enough in myself to know that it would only be wrong to do it any other way.
Sometimes I curse, and sometimes I'm irrational. Sometimes I get mad at the wrong person, and I don't apologize. Sometimes I'm very spiteful when I feel as though I've been wronged.
I can't cook that well, and if you really give a damn about that for wife purposes, you should look elsewhere. I also don't clean as regularly as I should. My place is frequently a mess, and I tend to clean when I'm about to have company, or when I get pissed that I can't find something that I'm looking for.
I don't pay all of my bills on time every month and I'm not great at saving. I don't always do my homework. I procrastinate like a professional. Sometimes I'm a bad friend. Sometimes I'm a hypocrite. Hey, sometimes I'm a straightup and downright bitch. And while I know this, don't you dare come out of your mouth and call me on it.
Sometimes I'm passive aggressive because I feel like being outwardly mean will cause a confrontation. Leading to, sometimes I'm a punk. Sometimes I start arguments just to win, and sometimes I start arguments with you to prove that you care. Sometimes I point out flaws in others as a way of denying them in myself.
Sometimes I act like the "typical" girl and sometimes I act like the "typical" dude. I get emotional, and know the perfect way to be a brat to get my way. Sometimes I'm rude to you, and don't really give a damn, no matter how much your feelings have been hurt.
My hair isn't always done, and I don't shower twice a day. Or every day for that matter. Sometimes I don't do laundry for months, until I'm down to bikini bottoms or washing old underwear by hand to wear the next day. Sometimes I pick my nose, and if there is no tissue handy, I "roll and blow." I don't act like an adult all the time, and my maturity wavers.
I've fallen for men for the wrong reason. I've had sex for the wrong reason. I've put myself in situations where all I could do is lose, but I just knew in my heart that I should win. I've conducted myself in ways that my mother would not be proud of. I've done things that my father would cringe at. And my brother and sister? Basically, they know very little about me.
I don't tell my friends everything and I've lied to all of them before at least once. Sometimes, the truth doesn't always come out and honesty is not always the best policy. I've hurt other women before to get what I want from a man, knowingly and unknowingly. My eyebrows are not always done, and if you saw my feet right now, you'd call the police. Sometimes I try too hard to get attention, just to prove that I still got it, and sometimes I shy away from attention for fear that I won't get any. I'm insecure on the occasion about my weight, size, height and intellectual capabilities. And sometimes I think that I won't be a good therapist.
Some of these things, I'm in control of. Some of this, I'm not. This is all to say, that with all of my flaws, I am still unconditionally in love with myself. I am generally proud of my accomplishments, and I am in love with the way that I love people. Many of these things about me will never change. While I do have some regrets, they have all taught me more about myself and the way that I choose to interact with others. I still sometimes conduct myself in ways that I'm not proud of, but being older, and being wiser, these are decisions that I have chosen to make, to try to secure my happiness in whatever area of my life. Whether I get what I want or get bit in the ass, the choices are mine now, and no longer a consequence of not knowing any better.
I'm in control of my life enough now to follow my mind only when I want to, and to follow my heart when I feel like I need to. The importance of this balance has just been realized, and although I may never get it right, I am comfortable and confident enough in myself to know that it would only be wrong to do it any other way.
Marta Train Madness.
check this out and comment please. Her family claims that BiPolar Disorder is at play and she has affectionately been named "Soulja Girl," by people who have watched this or who were there. What do you think?
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Way to Let Yourself Go.
I couldn't believe it when I saw one of these pictures on a friend's facebook page. Had to do some investigative work (that I've become so good at...)
holla @ ya boy!
holla @ ya boy!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Really?
this is disgusting. i am appalled. why would you want this? how do you get this? do you like this? is this what's hot?
thanks www.dlisted.com
thanks www.dlisted.com
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
2009
I'm not really big on cooking. It's not that I can't. (not saying that I can) I just don't. Too tired. Too lazy. Many things that I'd want to make/eat require specific ingredients that I just cannot find at my Mexican corner store.
So I've decided to make some changes. When is a better time than the new year??
2009 will be my recipe year.
I don't know if that means that I'll be collecting recipes, trying recipes of others, or digging in and making some new stuff. But, with a new kitchen (hopefully to be remodeled by early 2009), I will have new vigor and a new interest in being healthier and getting my "grown" on. We'll see.
Here's to good food in 2009! (and probably some bad food along the way... ;)
So I've decided to make some changes. When is a better time than the new year??
2009 will be my recipe year.
I don't know if that means that I'll be collecting recipes, trying recipes of others, or digging in and making some new stuff. But, with a new kitchen (hopefully to be remodeled by early 2009), I will have new vigor and a new interest in being healthier and getting my "grown" on. We'll see.
Here's to good food in 2009! (and probably some bad food along the way... ;)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
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